Psalm 13 begins by asking how long God will forget the speaker and hide his face. It ends with trust, anticipated joy and song. Psalm 88 also cries to God, but its ending leaves friends and companions absent, with darkness still present. Both prayers belong to the biblical Psalms. Their endings do different work. Psalm 13; Psalm 88.
That difference matters to someone who thinks an open heart must always arrive at peace before a conversation or prayer can end. Psalm 13 offers a movement toward praise. Psalm 88 gives readers a prayer whose distress remains unresolved in its final line. Receiving both texts makes room for a question Christian community cannot answer with a demand for better feelings: how can a person remain in relationship while sorrow has no satisfying conclusion?
This chapter examines that question through lament and companionship. It does not explain why a particular tragedy occurred. The texts give suffering language and witnesses; they do not give an observer permission to invent God's purpose for another person's loss.
Lament keeps an address
The complaint in these psalms is directed to God. The speaker asks to be heard, questions apparent abandonment and describes trouble. In a Christian reading, that address can make lament a form of relationship even when assurance is absent. The person speaking does not have to begin with a settled account of what has happened.
There is an important difference between explaining a distress and speaking from within it. An explanation tries to say why. Lament can say what the situation is like, what is feared and what is needed. Someone who cannot explain the event may still be able to make that address.
A reader may find one psalm closer to their experience than the other. Another may find neither usable today. The texts do not establish a timetable for movement from one ending to the next. Treating Psalm 88 as a stage that must soon be replaced by Psalm 13 would turn a comparison of prayers into an unsupported judgment about the person praying.
The unresolved ending also affects the listener. If the prayer itself can end without a visible resolution, a conversation about suffering need not be forced into a closing declaration that everything is now understood. The listener can let the last difficult sentence remain heard.
The weeping in John's account
When Mary comes to Jesus after her brother's death, she says that he would not have died if Jesus had been there. John describes her weeping, the weeping of those with her, Jesus' distress and his tears. Onlookers respond differently: some speak of his love; others ask why someone who opened a blind man's eyes could not have prevented this death. John 11:28–37.
The selected passage holds tears and questions together. Its observers do not offer one unanimous interpretation of the event. The narrative's attention to weeping gives this chapter a particular point of entry: sorrow is present in the encounter with Jesus, rather than being omitted as an embarrassment to it.
For a person offering company, that is a reason to attend to the encounter before searching for a sentence that will settle it. The question a grieving person asks may be something they need another person to hear. It need not be an invitation to deliver an explanation of divine providence.
Paul's brief instruction to weep with those who weep likewise makes companionship an action in its own right. It gives the companion something to do without requiring them to know the cause or purpose of the suffering. Romans 12:15.
Company without an assigned ending
Consider a hypothetical conversation between a grieving person and a friend from church. The friend asks whether company would be welcome. The grieving person agrees and later says that prayer feels empty. The friend has several possible responses: correct the statement, offer a ready explanation, recount someone else's recovery, or ask whether the person wants to say more.
The last response makes space for the actual speaker. It does not require agreement with every theological conclusion to hear an account of how prayer feels. A companion can be honest about their own uncertainty while remaining attentive. A silence can be shared without being filled with a verdict.
If the person asks for prayer, the friend can ask what they would like included. The request might concern endurance, anger, sleep, family or simply being heard. Prayer need not covertly assign a better emotional response than the speaker requested. If prayer is not wanted in that conversation, the friend can continue offering company.
The difference becomes visible at departure. “I'm glad you feel better” may report an outcome the grieving person never expressed. “Thank you for telling me; would a call on Friday be welcome?” leaves the conversation's actual result intact and asks permission for the next encounter. Friday can arrive without requiring a progress report.
A community can carry continuity
One friend cannot offer unlimited availability. A congregation can share practical help if the person wants it, using the clear offers and handoffs discussed earlier. Continuity includes remembering agreed contact, avoiding repeated demands to retell private circumstances, and letting the person change what kind of help is welcome.
Receiving help is also a form of openness. Someone accustomed to being useful may now need another person to bring a meal, make a call or sit nearby. That change does not require an account of what suffering has taught them. The community's care can be offered without making wisdom the price of admission.
For a broader discussion of loss and the meaning question, see Meaning After Loss. The Christian question here remains narrower: can sorrow be present in prayer and in the company of other people? These texts give a supported answer. Lament speaks, Jesus' tears enter the narrative, and shared weeping becomes an instruction.
Psalm 88's last line has not been repaired into a reassuring ending. It remains available to be read, spoken or heard. A community able to stay with such a prayer has room for a person who cannot yet offer another one.
Return to The Open Heart, or explore Christianity.
Loading comments…