Finding a Retreat Center

A guide to choosing and preparing for contemplative retreat experiences

A Christian retreat center is a place set apart for prayer, reflection, and encounter with God. Options range from active conference centers to silent monasteries, from weekend experiences to extended 30-day retreats. Choosing the right center depends on your spiritual tradition, experience level, and what God is inviting you toward.

Why Make a Retreat?

Jesus withdrew regularly to pray in solitary places. The Christian contemplative tradition has always valued times of stepping away from ordinary life to focus entirely on God. A retreat isn't escape from life but a deeper engagement with its true Source.

What Retreats Offer

Extended silence - Space to hear God's still, small voice
Freedom from distractions - No phones, emails, or daily obligations
Structured prayer rhythm - The Liturgy of the Hours and daily Mass
Spiritual guidance - Direction from experienced guides
Community of prayer - Joining others on the journey (even in silence)
Sacred environment - Architecture, art, and nature that lift the heart

Types of Retreat Experiences

By Format

Directed Retreat

You meet daily with a spiritual director who listens to your prayer experience and offers guidance. Typically 5-8 days, silent outside of direction meetings. Best for those with some prayer experience seeking deeper discernment or breakthrough.

Preached/Guided Retreat

A retreat leader gives talks (usually 3-4 per day) on a theme, with time for personal prayer and reflection between sessions. Good for beginners or groups. Usually 3-7 days.

Private/Self-Directed Retreat

You come to a center that provides room, meals, and chapel access, but structure your own time. Requires spiritual maturity and experience. Good for experienced contemplatives needing extended solitude.

Group Theme Retreat

A weekend or week focused on a topic (e.g., "Praying with Icons," "Introduction to Centering Prayer," "The Spirituality of Work"). Combines teaching with practice. Good for learning specific methods.

Monastic Stay/Observership

Living alongside monks or nuns, following their schedule of prayer and work. Profound immersion in contemplative rhythm. Contact monasteries directly - most welcome guests.

Hermitage Experience

Complete solitude in a small cabin or cell on monastery grounds. Meals delivered or self-prepared. For experienced contemplatives only. Profound but challenging.

By Duration

Weekend (2-3 days)

Good first experience. Enough time to settle into silence and receive some benefit. Often themed or introductory.

5-Day

The "sweet spot" for many. Enough time for real depth without overwhelming beginners. Common format for directed retreats.

8-Day (Ignatian Standard)

The classic length for an Ignatian retreat based on a condensed Spiritual Exercises. Allows for significant spiritual movement.

30-Day (Full Exercises)

The complete Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. Life-changing but requires significant time commitment. Usually once-in-a-lifetime for most people.

Types of Retreat Centers

Monasteries & Abbeys

Active contemplative communities (Benedictine, Cistercian, Carmelite, etc.) that welcome guests. You join the rhythm of the Liturgy of the Hours. Simple accommodations, profound atmosphere. Usually donation-based or very affordable.

Best for: Experiencing authentic monastic rhythm, deep silence, those drawn to liturgical prayer

Retreat Houses

Dedicated facilities run by religious orders or dioceses. Professional staff, comfortable rooms, regular programming. More structured than monasteries, less immersive. Jesuits, Franciscans, and many dioceses operate retreat houses.

Best for: First-time retreatants, those seeking specific programs, accessibility needs

Conference Centers

Larger facilities that host various groups and events. More hotel-like amenities. Good for group retreats but less contemplative atmosphere. May be noisy if other groups are present.

Best for: Group retreats, those needing more comfortable accommodations

Hermitages

Individual cabins or cells for complete solitude. Usually on monastery grounds with chapel access. Minimal or no interaction with others. Self-catering or meals delivered.

Best for: Experienced contemplatives, those discerning vocation, extended solitude

Orthodox Monasteries

Eastern Orthodox communities following Byzantine tradition. Longer, more elaborate services. Icons, incense, and distinctive liturgical rhythm. Profound for those drawn to Orthodox spirituality.

Best for: Those exploring Orthodoxy, Hesychast practice, icon spirituality

Questions to Ask Before Booking

Practical Questions

What is the daily schedule? How much is structured vs. free time?
Is it silent? Completely, or just during certain hours?
Are meals provided? What about dietary restrictions?
What accommodations are available? Private room? Shared bathroom?
Is spiritual direction included, available, or optional?
What is the cost? Are scholarships available?
What should I bring? What's provided?
Is there cell phone/WiFi access? Are they discouraged?
What are the grounds like? Is there walking space?
Is there a chapel? What services are offered?

Spiritual Questions

What tradition does this center represent?
What is the theological/ecclesial character?
Who runs the center? What is their formation?
What prayer methods are taught or expected?
Is there Mass or other liturgical prayer available?
Are confessions available?
Is there any expected participation or is everything optional?

What to Expect on Your First Retreat

Before You Go

Set your intention - What are you hoping for? Bring a question or desire to lay before God
Prepare your household - Make arrangements so you can be fully present
Begin slowing down - A day or two before, reduce activities and screens
Pack simply - Comfortable clothes, Bible, journal, one spiritual book (maximum)
Leave work behind - Don't bring projects, even "spiritual" ones

Day One

Expect restlessness. Your mind, accustomed to constant stimulation, will take time to settle. This is normal. Don't fight it or judge yourself. Simply notice and return gently to presence. Many people feel worse before they feel better.

The Middle Days

As you settle into the rhythm, deeper things often surface. Emotions may arise - tears, memories, longings. This is the work of the retreat. Let God meet you in whatever emerges. If it becomes overwhelming, speak with your director or the retreat staff.

Final Day

Begin transitioning gently. Consider how to carry what you've received into daily life. Make simple, concrete resolutions rather than grand plans. Thank God for whatever was given.

Common First-Timer Experiences

Initial boredom or restlessness (this passes)
Sleeping more than usual (your body catching up)
Emotions surfacing unexpectedly
Difficulty praying at first
Gradually deepening peace
Clarity about life situations
Not wanting to leave

Retreat Centers by Tradition

Ignatian/Jesuit Centers

Jesuits and others trained in the Ignatian tradition offer the Spiritual Exercises and related retreats. Known for excellent spiritual direction and the 30-day Exercises.

Eastern Point Retreat House - Gloucester, MA
Loyola House - Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Campion Renewal Center - Weston, MA
Manresa Jesuit Retreat House - Bloomfield Hills, MI
St. Ignatius Retreat House - Manhasset, NY

Search "Jesuit retreat house [your region]" for more options.

Carmelite Centers

Both Carmelite friars and nuns welcome guests. Expect focus on mental prayer, the works of Teresa and John, and contemplative silence.

Mt. Carmel Spiritual Centre - Niagara Falls, Ontario
Carmelite Monastery - Indianapolis, IN (guest accommodations)
Nada Hermitage - Crestone, CO (Spiritual Life Institute)
Carmelite Retreat - Darien, IL

Benedictine/Cistercian Monasteries

Ancient monastic tradition with the Liturgy of the Hours as the spine of each day. Typically the most affordable option. Profound rhythm of prayer and silence.

Gethsemani Abbey - Trappist, KY (Thomas Merton's monastery)
New Melleray Abbey - Peosta, IA
St. Joseph's Abbey - Spencer, MA
Mepkin Abbey - Moncks Corner, SC
Christ in the Desert Monastery - Abiquiu, NM

Orthodox Centers

Orthodox monasteries and retreat centers focus on the Jesus Prayer, the Philokalia tradition, and Byzantine liturgy. Services are long and beautiful.

Holy Cross Monastery - Wayne, WV (OCA)
St. Gregory Palamas Monastery - Perrysville, OH
Dormition of the Mother of God Monastery - Rives Junction, MI
Holy Archangels Greek Orthodox Monastery - Kendalia, TX

Virtual and Online Retreats

While nothing replaces in-person retreat, online options have expanded access significantly. These can be good preparations for in-person retreats or options for those who cannot travel.

Online Options Include:

Creighton University Online Ministries - Free 34-week Spiritual Exercises at home
Pray as You Go app - Daily Ignatian prayer with audio guidance
Virtual directed retreats - Video meetings with a director while you retreat at home
Monastery livestreams - Many monasteries stream their Liturgy of the Hours

Making an "At-Home Retreat"

If you can't get away, consider:

Setting aside a weekend at home with full silence and no screens
Arranging for family to be away or respecting your silence
Creating a simple schedule of prayer, reading, walks, and rest
Meeting with a spiritual director via video before and after
Treating it as seriously as you would a physical retreat

Practical Tips

What to Bring

Comfortable, modest clothing
Walking shoes
Bible and journal
One spiritual book (maximum)
Minimal toiletries
Any medications
Alarm clock (leave phone off)

What to Leave Behind

Laptop/work materials
Multiple books
Cell phone (or keep off/airplane mode)
Alcohol
Newspapers/magazines
Projects of any kind
Expectations of what "should" happen

Financial Considerations

Costs vary widely. Monasteries often operate on donations and are very affordable. Retreat houses may charge $80-200/night including meals. 30-day Ignatian retreats can be $3,000-5,000 but scholarships are common.

Most retreat centers offer reduced rates for those with financial need. Don't let cost prevent you from making a retreat - ask about scholarships or sliding scale. Some parishes have retreat funds.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I've never been on a retreat before?

Start with a guided weekend retreat or a preached retreat at a welcoming retreat house. These provide structure and support for first-timers. Let the staff know it's your first time - they'll be helpful. Don't start with a hermitage or 30-day experience!

What if I can't handle complete silence?

Many retreat houses have options that aren't completely silent. Look for "partial silence" (silent mornings, meals shared) or guided retreats with discussion periods. That said, silence is less frightening than it seems - and more healing.

Can I go on retreat at a center from a different tradition?

Generally yes. Catholics are welcome at most Protestant retreat centers and vice versa. Orthodox monasteries welcome non-Orthodox guests. Be respectful of the tradition - you're a guest in their spiritual home. Participating in services is usually expected; receiving sacraments may have restrictions.

What if nothing "happens" on my retreat?

Sometimes the most important retreats feel "dry." God often works beneath the surface. The fruits may appear weeks or months later. Your job is to show up and be present. The results are in God's hands. A "failed" retreat may be the most transformative one.

How often should I make a retreat?

Traditional wisdom suggests an annual retreat of at least a few days, plus regular "days of recollection" (monthly or quarterly). The Jesuits historically expected their members to make the 30-day Exercises at least twice in life. Find a rhythm that fits your life situation.