Retreat Making

Directed Retreat

You meet daily with a spiritual director who gives you prayer material (usually Scripture), listens to what emerges, and offers guidance. Otherwise, you are in silence. This is ideal for those seeking personalized direction.

Duration: Typically 5-8 days, but shorter options available.
Tradition: Especially common in Ignatian spirituality (the Spiritual Exercises).

Preached Retreat

A retreat leader gives conferences (talks) to the group, usually 2-3 per day, on a spiritual theme. Time between talks is for prayer, reflection, and rest. Less individual attention than directed retreats, but more structured.

Duration: Often 3-5 days (weekend to weeklong).
Best for: Those who appreciate teaching and a shared experience.

Silent Retreat (Self-Directed)

You come with your own prayer plan and spend the time in silence without formal direction or talks. Some centers offer optional daily Mass or group prayer. Maximum freedom, minimum structure.

Duration: Any length, from one day to weeks.
Best for: Experienced retreatants; those who know what they need.

The 30-Day Ignatian Retreat

The full Spiritual Exercises, made in complete silence with daily direction. Reserved for those considering religious life, significant life decisions, or deep spiritual renovation. Life-changing for those called to it.

Duration: 28-32 days.
Requirement: Usually requires prior retreat experience and discernment with a director.

Centering Prayer Retreat

Focused on Centering Prayer practice, with multiple sits per day, teaching on contemplation, and group process. Offered by Contemplative Outreach and similar organizations.

Duration: Typically 3-8 days.
Best for: Those wanting to deepen Centering Prayer specifically.

Monastic Guest Stay

Many monasteries welcome guests to share in their rhythm of prayer—the Liturgy of the Hours, daily Mass, silence, work. You follow the community schedule, experiencing monastic life from the inside.

Duration: Typically 2-7 days.
Traditions: Benedictine, Trappist, Carmelite monasteries; Orthodox monasteries.

Before Booking

• Clarify your intention. What are you seeking? Rest? Discernment? Deepening? Healing?
• Choose the right type. First retreat? Start with a preached or short directed retreat.
• Research the center. What tradition? What accommodations? Reviews from past retreatants?
• Consider timing. Can you truly be unavailable? Arrange coverage for responsibilities.

The Week Before

• Begin simplifying. Reduce media consumption, slow down where possible.
• Handle logistics. Communicate your unavailability; set up auto-replies.
• Pack simply. Comfortable clothes, journal, Bible, one spiritual book maximum.
• Leave work behind. Don't bring projects "just in case."

Arriving

• Transition consciously. The drive or journey is part of the retreat.
• Settle in slowly. Explore the grounds, find the chapel, orient yourself.
• Let go of expectations. God may have different plans than yours.
• Begin the silence. Don't waste the first hours in small talk.

Day One

Often the hardest. Your mind is still racing with concerns from home. Restlessness is common. You may wonder if you made a mistake. This is completely normal. Just keep showing up.

The Settling

Usually by day two or three, something shifts. The noise in your head begins to quiet. You start to notice things—a bird, a quality of light—that you would have missed before. This is the beginning of retreat grace.

Difficult Moments

Silence often surfaces buried material: grief, anger, memories, doubts. This is not a problem but an opportunity. Let it come. Bring it to prayer. This is part of the purification process.

Boredom

You may experience profound boredom, especially on longer retreats. This is a sign of withdrawal from stimulation addiction. Stay with it. On the other side of boredom is often a deeper presence.

Consolation and Desolation

Both consolation and desolation may come. Don't cling to the consolation or flee the desolation. Both are teachers. Bring all of it to your director if you have one.

The Final Day

Resist the urge to "break silence" early. Use the last day to consolidate what you've received and prepare for return. Consider: What will I take home? What commitment am I making?

Ignatian/Jesuit

Jesuit retreat houses exist in most major metropolitan areas. They specialize in the Spiritual Exercises, directed retreats, and Ignatian spirituality. Many welcome people of all backgrounds.

Carmelite

Carmelite monasteries often accept guests. Emphasis on Teresian and Sanjuanist spirituality, contemplative prayer, and the interior life. Smaller, more intimate settings.

Benedictine/Trappist

Monastic hospitality is central to Benedictine life. Trappist (Cistercian) monasteries offer deep silence. Guests often join the community for Liturgy of the Hours and meals.

Orthodox

Orthodox monasteries welcome pilgrims. Expect participation in the liturgical cycle, Byzantine chant, and Orthodox prayer tradition. Customs may differ from Western retreats.

Contemplative Outreach

For Centering Prayer retreats specifically, Contemplative Outreach maintains a network of centers and offers retreats at various locations.

Ecumenical Centers

Many retreat centers welcome all Christians. These often draw from multiple traditions and may be more accessible for Protestant retreatants.

Can I make a retreat if I've never done contemplative prayer?

Yes. Many retreat centers offer introductory retreats. A preached retreat or a guided weekend is a gentle entry point. You don't need to be an expert—just willing.

What if I can't afford it?

Many centers offer sliding scale fees or scholarships. Some monasteries operate on donation only. Ask about financial assistance—most retreat houses want to make retreats accessible.

I have small children. Is retreat even possible?

It requires coordination, but yes. Some couples alternate—one stays with children while the other retreats, then swap. Some centers offer retreats with childcare. Even a single day of silence, while children are cared for by a spouse or grandparent, is valuable.

What if I can't be silent for that long?

You may be surprised. Most people find extended silence easier than expected. Start with a shorter retreat if concerned. The silence usually becomes a gift rather than a burden.

Can Protestants make Catholic retreats?

Absolutely. Most Catholic retreat centers welcome Christians of all traditions. You may not receive communion at Mass, but all other aspects of the retreat are open to you. Ask the center about their policy.