A Stillness Practice for Sitting With Loss

On Grief, Loss & Sorrow

Loss asks us to do something very difficult: to be present with what is no longer there. The instinct is to fill the absence, to distract from the pain, to keep moving so the grief cannot catch up. But sometimes the most healing thing is simply to sit with the loss — not to fix it, explain it, or hurry past it, but to be present with it as it is.

This stillness practice is not about making grief go away. It is about creating space for grief to exist without resistance. It is about learning to be with what hurts, trusting that presence itself is a form of healing.

You do not need to do anything with the loss. You only need to be with it.

Why Sitting With Loss Matters

Our culture often rushes grief. There are expectations about how long mourning should take, pressure to "move on," discomfort with lingering sadness. But grief has its own timeline, and it does not respond to pressure. Trying to hurry grief usually just pushes it underground, where it waits.

• Resistance to grief often intensifies it
• Suppressed grief finds other ways to surface
• Being present with loss allows natural processing
• Grief that is witnessed tends to soften over time
• Sitting with loss honors what was lost

This practice is about giving yourself permission to grieve at your own pace, without judgment or timeline.

Preparing for Stillness

Before beginning, find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed. This might be a few minutes or longer — there is no required duration. The practice is about quality of presence, not quantity of time.

• Sit or lie in a comfortable position
• Turn off or silence devices
• Have tissues nearby if needed
• Let yourself know this is a safe space for whatever arises
• Release any expectations about what should happen

The Stillness Practice

This practice invites you to simply be present with your loss. There is nothing to achieve, solve, or transform. Just presence.

Lord, I am here. I am not trying to escape the loss, not trying to fix it, not trying to hurry past it. I am simply here, with what is. Let me feel what I feel without judgment. Let the grief have space to be what it is. I do not need to understand it. I only need to be present with it. You are here with me — in the stillness, in the sorrow, in the empty space where something used to be. We sit together in this loss. That is enough for now.

After the prayer, simply sit. Let thoughts come and go without following them. Let emotions rise and fall without fighting them. Let the body feel what it feels. If tears come, let them come. If numbness comes, let it come. Whatever arises is part of the grief, and it is welcome here.

After the Practice

When you feel ready to end the practice, do so gently. There is no right way to transition back. Some find it helpful to take a few deep breaths, stretch, or drink water. Others simply sit quietly for another moment before returning to activity.

• Thank yourself for being willing to be present
• Notice if anything has shifted — or if it hasn't (both are okay)
• Consider returning to this practice regularly
• Be gentle with yourself for the rest of the day
• Know that you can return to this stillness whenever needed

The practice of sitting with loss is not a one-time event. It is a way of accompanying your grief, again and again, for as long as needed.