Current combinations cause a very speedy like effect/help with finding right combination

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I am new to nootropics and am experimenting with what could be right for me. I thought this sub would be better to ask since 1)- im looking for nootropics and 2)- supplements and drugs doesnt seem to be as knowledgeable on this subject.

Current diagnosis- mild depression, severe anxiety with panic attacks, ADHD, and a constant sense of derealization for the past 6 or 7 years.

Currently I’m not really taking any nootropics unless you accept L-theanine as one. I’m taking gabapentin 300mg 3 times daily, L-theanine 100mg 3 time daily, and clonidine at night. I heard adding caffeine to your dose helps with adhd so I’ve made my coffee schedule at the same dosing times.

This combination ABSOLUTELY helps with my anxiety and I almost feel too relaxed at times but with no drowsiness. It does NOT help the derealization at all but without the anxiety it doesn’t bother me much. The heavy caffeine in the mix causes a very extreme speed like effect for me. Not much euphoria but lot’s of talkitiveness and the ability to get a little more done. Doesn’t help as much as i need for the adhd but does wonders for anxiety and helps enough that I’m functioning a little better so I’m wondering if a different combo would help or adding a new one could negate the following negative effects.

Negative effects I’m experiencing – some problems really lie within the fact I will have a MAJOR crash when it all wears off. Just as bad as a stim crash(exhaustion, headache, bellyache ect). Also my motivation is still lower than desired so the adhd is still winning in a way. Also, the derealization still causes it’s own issues. My cognitive abilities definitely have been dropping since the onset of the derealization and forgetfulness is wild (i forgot toilets existed while browsing and peed my self a little before finishing in the bathroom). There’s also some impulse control problems.

Desired effects – better functioning, more motivation, better thinking power, less derealization, less of a crash, the ability to start and complete tasks. I could live with the derealization if everything else was better but I’d like to be back to my normal functioning. Any advice would help.

2 final things before I say goodbye. I’d like to understand why this is causing such an extreme speed feeling. It’s not a bad thing since it helps my adhd but I’d love to understand what’s happening. Also, if you need to know, past heavy heroin abuse, got a bad bag and the derealization it caused never went away.

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